The Steering Committee (basically a “high counsel” of sorts) of the Humanists and Freethinkers of Fairfield County recently gathered to discuss options in light of [sic] the impending solar eclipse on Monday, Aug, 21. We considered several options, including:
- Sacrifice Babies — an eclipse must be some type of divine retribution for something we’ve done that God, or various gods, consider to be wrong or otherwise inappropriate. How can they be appeased so that the sun can be restored to its natural splendor and the earth avoid doom? Like other peoples in the past (we know you’re out there, Carthaginians!) we thought sacrificing babies, among our most precious things, might be a good way to get the gods to settle down and give us the sun back.
- Mass Suicide — there’s simply no appeasing these gods, the earth is doomed, and it’s best just for all of us to take our lives together and end it quickly.
- Get Religion — quickly pick one of the thousands of religions that humans have turned to during the past five thousand years or so, and hope that the one we pick works to get us out of this pickle.
- Rob Homes — because the eclipse is a rare event (the last one observable in North America was June 8, 1918, and the next won’t be until 2045), and it will appear in some places in the US as a total eclipse of the sun, many Americans have chosen to take the opportunity to travel for better viewing to places like Hopkinsville, KY or Casper, WY. That’s great, because it means they won’t be home! What better time to cruise through some of the wealthier neighborhoods of Fairfield County and rob empty homes?
- Hang Out With Friends — An eclipse is just a natural event, and will be fun to view (safely) with friends for the brief time it can be observed here in CT.
The Steering Committee held a lengthy and heated debate over which of these options to choose. Finally, reason won out (again!) and we elected to go with #5. In observance of the Great Solar Eclipse of 2017, Humanists and Freethinkers will gather, and we invite the public to join us, on Monday, Aug. 21 from 1 p.m. on, at SoNo Seafood, a casual open-air waterfront restaurant, 100 Water Street, Norwalk. The eclipse here will start at 1:24 p.m., peak at 2:45 p.m. and complete by 4 p.m. The above fictional account of other options is all in good fun.
For those who bring a copy of this notice we will provide special eyeglasses, at no cost, which will allow for safe viewing of the sun as the moon passes in front of it, reducing it to a crescent. Direct observation is highly dangerous and can result in permanent blindness. Please join us for a safe viewing of this wonderful event, so you won’t be like your newly blind neighbor stumbling around on Tuesday morning.
- What: Eclipse Watch and Party
- Sponsored by: Humanists and Freethinkers of Fairfield County (HFFC)
- Special solar viewing eyeglasses will be available at no cost (bring copy of this notice). Suggest wearing hat; it’s August.
- When: Monday Aug. 21, starting at 1 p.m.
- Where: Sono Seafood restaurant, 100 Water St.
- Information: www.meetup.com/hffcct
The Humanists and Freethinkers of Fairfield County (HFFC) combine reason and compassion, integrating modern understanding of the world with an affirmative life view. For more information on HFFC, its social and thoughtful aims and activities, including talks, discussions, book group, movie events, and parties, visit meetup.com/HFFCCT.
Humanists and Freethinkers of Fairfield County (HFFC)