Dear All Norwalk Residents:
Call the Mayor, call the Governor, call ICE, call your representatives in Congress, call the President or just let out a blood curdling scream!!!!!!
Norwalk is being invaded.
This is not a joke. This is not fake news. I have photographic evidence.
An army of witches, zombies, gigantic arachnids, ghosts, and other frightening creatures have crossed our border and are heading for our homes. And they are bringing with them lots of problems, lots of problems, I can tell you lots of problems. They’re bringing spider webs, they’re bringing axes, they’re bringing crime. They’re baby snatchers and wife beaters and devil worshippers. And some – maybe one or two, maybe less – are harmless.
OK. I know. You don’t believe me. So here is a picture of one of the spiders.
Yes, he bites. And yes, he spins webs.
And how about this lady?
I passed by her last night while out for a walk in the neighborhood.
How did she get here? And who is going to be her next victim? And while contemplating the answer to those questions, take a look at this guy.
Everywhere you look there are scores just like him. Maybe some of them are good pumpkin heads. But don’t bet on it. Just ask yourself, “why is he smiling?” No doubt it is because he figures you will be so flummoxed by what is going on that when you pass by this creature
you won’t realize it is really a witch in disguise.
So be on the lookout Norwalkers. They are coming for you. Some of them are witches. Some of them are ax murderers. Some of them are candy pushers. And perhaps a few are pussy cats. But don’t bet on it.
“Glenda Goodwitch” (a creation of Paul Cantor)