City-wide experiment will prove which side is right

In its continuing public service to Norwalk, NancyOnNorwalk plans to schedule a city-wide flush it event. This way we will all know whether the apartments are flooding the wastewater treatment plant.

Oh sure, you’ve heard it, City officials and municipal staff members claim that the treatment plant can handle continuing development – which we all know is poppycock. Let’s prove it! Everyone flush at once.

They won’t be able to say the rampant bypasses are due to stormwater if we all flush when it’s sunny out. When the plant is overwhelmed by just synchronized toilets – and you know it can’t really handle it – there won’t be any doubt and they won’t be able to make those pesky comments about rainfall inches. (Annoying, we know.)

This will be tough to schedule, given the need for not a drop of rain in the sky, and we’re going to have to get the word out so expect a fundraising campaign to fund robocalls, reaching every Norwalk resident. Both sides of this equation can pitch in! The apartment haters and the apartment dwellers alike will want to prove their point of view.

We’ll be letting you know when we are ready to begin. In the meantime, you might want to consider how you can make as big an impact as possible on the big day. If you can’t pitch in on schedule, maybe you can get your pets to help.

Editor’s note: April Fools.

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